I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize