i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize