At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
