This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
