All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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