Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
