Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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