He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i was born a porn star she said
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize