Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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