so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
