help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
