How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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