D3 body, D1 cock
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
