smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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