Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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