dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
