I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize