return my video game
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
