It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
