Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
