I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
