he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize