Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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