We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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