I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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