he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
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