How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
