how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
