I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
