we have officially lost it.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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