Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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