i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
