Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
