everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
