Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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