We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Randomize
