My friends, they love my intelligence
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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