She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
