At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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