I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
