those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize