I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize