I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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