Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
