found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
