Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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