The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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