Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
