Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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