I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
