Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
