my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize