the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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