I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
