I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
