you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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