sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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