There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
