There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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