Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
