NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize