you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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