That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
