he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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