my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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