Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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