just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
