I think I died a long time ago.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
