At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Randomize
