these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
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