I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
