The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
